Hilarious! Brexit Boris Becomes Foreign Minister
An off-the cuff man like Boris Johnson fought to make Britain leave the EU, and insulting numerous foreign leaders in the process. But now he must become the Foreign Minister!
Boris Johnson was a figurehead of the Leave campaign
Withdrew from the running for Prime Minister
Selected to be Foreign Secretary
Now must repair relationships that he himself damaged
Boris Johnson, along with Nigel Farage were the two faces of the Leave campaign, which recently won in an historic vote for the United Kingdom to leave the European Union. Globalo has also done an expose on Boris Johnson in the aftermath of the campaign. Boris was for a time in the running to become the next Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, however he withdrew from the contest, which made it look like he left the country ‘holding the bag’, just as Nigel Farage did. It seemed that higher powers were going to let Boris get away with dismantling progress, but finally, the tables have been turned, ad justice has been served as Boris Johnson was named the new Foreign Secretary for the Untied Kingdom…sorry the United Kingdom.
Boris must now spend the next step of his career repairing the relationships that he so expertly destroyed as he campaigned for British nationalism. During the campaign Boris managed to insult the United States by saying Barack Obama had a ethnic dislike of the British due to his Kenyan heritage. But far more destructive was the limerick he wrote about the Turkish Leader Erdogan, who (as Globalo has reported many times) is completely crazy. Erdogan is the leader of a critically important nation and is known to have a short fuse and a broken funny bone, so needless to say, that will be a tense meting. The limerick made reference to Erdogan having intercourse with a goat:
“There was a young fellow from Ankara,
Who was a terrific wankerer.
Till he sowed his wild oats,
With the help of a goat,
But he didn’t even stop to thankera.”
Boris has also referred to black people as “piccannies” with “watermelon smiles”, a comment that drew a lot of criticism, obviously. He has quipped about Hillary Clinton, saying she was “like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital.”
He has also attacked the European Union by saying that it shares the same goal as Hitler, a claim much to the chagrin of EU countries, especially Germany. But in the world of foreign diplomacy, it is customary to let bygones be bygones. The German finance minister has extended an olive branch, and is willing to forget everything in the past, and it is likely that others will do the same. Even John Kerry, the current Secretary of State called to congratulate Boris Johnson. Hopefully when they meet for the first time in their official roles, John Kerry gives Boris a bust of Winston Churchill. (If you don’t get this reference, read this article about the incident)
Additional insults to foreign nations and leaders include:
- Paupa New Guniea: “For 10 years we in the Tory party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing and so it is with a happy amazement that we watch as the madness engulfs the Labour party.”
- Russia and Putin: “Despite looking a bit like Dobby the House Elf, he is a ruthless and manipulative tyrant.”
- Donald Trump: “I am genuinely worried that he could become president. I was in New York and some photographers were trying to take a picture of me and a girl walked down the pavement towards me and she stopped and she said, ‘Gee is that Trump?’ It was one of the worst moments.”
When it comes down to it, Boris Johnson is basically the Donald Trump of Britain, throwing Political Correctness out the window and speaking without really thinking. This may be entertaining, but do you really want someone like that to represent your country around the world? Oh wait…