Israel: My only Country!

Posted in Broader Middle East , Israel / Palestine | 08-Mar-04 | Author: Ephraim Kishon

It's the only country where the cross country highway stops in the middle of the state; Ben Gurion Airport 2000 is still not opened in 2003; water imports start at the most raining year of the decade, and the Gelilot Camp is being evacuated for 8 years now, but is still operational.

It's the only country where the unemployed strike.

It's the only country in which the 60-year-old folks still hate the corporal they had 42 years ago.

It's the only country where you have 2 ministers of finance and neither of them has money.

It's the only country where the minister of transportation placed a sign on the road reading: "Kohanim, drive on the left side of the
road".

It's the only country where the mother of a soldier has the cell number of his officer and he'd better beware.

It's the only country where Moslems sell holy memorabilia to Christians and get paid with Jewish currency.

It's the only country which sent a communication satellite to the sky, but nobody there knows how to communicate with each other.

The only country where the rich belong to the socialist left, the poor to the capitalist right and the middle class pays for all of them.

It's the only country where you already had scads from Iraq, katiushas from Lebanon, explosives from Gaza and bombs from Syria and where still, a 3 bedroom-apartment costs more than in Paris.

It's the only country where porno starlets are asked what their moms think about their job, soccer players bring their dads to the games to yell at their coach, and on Friday night everyone goes to their parents for a peaceful Shabbat diner.

It's the only country where a typical Israeli meal consists of an Arab salad, Rumanian Kebab, Iraqi Pita and Bavarian cream. We must like to eat anti-Semites.

It's the only country where the man with the open, stained shirt is the honorable minister, and the one next to him with the suit and tie is his chauffeur.

It's the only country where when someone says: "I didn't interrupt you", he really means to interrupt you.

The only country where you leave home when you're 18 and still live there when you're 24.

The only country where no woman gets along with her mother, but talks to her at least three times a day.

The only country where you can easily get computer programs to build and send satellites, but you have to wait 7 days for your washing
machine to be repaired.

The only country where you ask a girl on your first date where she was in the army, and find out she was more combative then you.

The only country in which between the happiest day of the year and the saddest one, you have exactly 60 seconds.

The only country in which most of its citizens can't explain why they live there, but they have a lot of reasons why they can't live elsewhere.

The only country where, if you hate politicians, you hate clerks, you hate the taxes, the quality of service, and the weather - it shows that you love the country.

It's the only country where I could live.

It is my only country.

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